Monday, May 24, 2010

Hitler Quote Applied to Sarah Palin

How the following quote from Adolf Hitler applies to Sarah Palin, the Teabaggers and Republicans:
"The receptivity of the great masses is very limited, their intelligence is small, but their power of forgetting is enormous. In consequence of these facts, all effective propaganda must be limited to a very few points and must harp on these in slogans until the last member of the public understands what you want him to understand by your slogan. As soon as you sacrifice this slogan and try to be many-sided, the effect will piddle away..."

Friday, May 21, 2010

Dear Mr. Turske

This is a response to an email I received from a friend. The email was a conservative persons view of America and what it means to be a conservative. He said he was the liberal-progressives worst nightmare because of his beliefs. I put the email in the comments section.

Dear Mr. Turske,
I am an American. I am the right wing, fundamentalist, nationalistic conservatives worst nightmare.
I am a teacher and I don't believe much of what is written in the bible.
I drive a VW because the US car companies don't build cars of the same quality and fuel efficiency as foreign car companies. If and when US car companies start making a car of the type, quality, and fuel efficiency I want, I will reconsider my decision.
I believe my money belongs to me not some foreign government in Iraq or Afghanistan or Israel or anywhere else. I don’t believe my money should be going to illegal wars in far off places that are doing nothing to keep me safe. My money shouldn’t be going to support corrupt regimes anywhere in the world. Period.
I am in touch with my feelings also.
I don't own a gun, don't want a gun, believe guns are dangerous, believe people should not have automatic weapons, and that makes me a smart American. If you think you want a gun for hunting you should be able to have a gun for hunting. If you think you want a gun for target shooting you should be bale to have a gun. If you think you want a gun for protecting your house from intruders you should be able to have a gun. If you think you should have a gun because you believe the government will try to forcibly take your gun, you are delusional.
I believe minorities do not think are they noble or want special treatment. They want fair and equal treatment. Minorities want the same treatment and opportunities as the descendants of northern Europeans. By all means if you work with the public you should be able to speak English but you should not be forced to learn English. You should learn English in school but if you want to speak another language among your family and friend you may do so. Nothing gives the government or private citizen the right to tell a person what language they can or can’t speak at home or in public.
Everyone has the right to worship god in any way they want but please don't force your religious views on me. Religion has no place in the government of this country. That includes all branches of the government.
My heroes are Jesus, Gandhi, Martin Luther King, John Shelby Spong, Sam Harris, Christopher Dawkins, Charles Darwin, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson, FDR, Bill Clinton, Jimmy Carter, and Al Gore. People whom through their ideas and actions made a difference in the world and in America.
I don't hate the rich or pity the poor. Everyone should have the same opportunities to work hard and make him or herself better.
I have never been persecuted for being an American with any belief that is different from yours, and neither have you Mr. Turske. If you don't like my views or my beliefs I would never tell you to leave this country. I am an American and I love the United States and I am going to stay and try to change my country into the country I can be even more proud of but your right wing propaganda is not helpful. This is American and it can be better! If you don't like my vision of America you are free to leave and go live in whatever police state you want. I bet I can find recommendations for several countries (Saudi Arabia, Iran, Russia, North Korea, China, Sudan) where you views would fit in nicely. And take Limbaugh, Beck, Pat Robertson, Bill O'Reilly, Anne Coulter, Sarah Palin, Dick Cheney, and Fox News with you. We don't need their kind of un-American rhetoric here.
I want to know where Rush Limbaugh, Pat Robertson, Glenn Beck, Fox News, Bill O'Reilly, Dick Cheney, etc. get the nerve to say the hideous things they say about the president. They are more of a problem for our country then Jesse Jackson. Their diatribes and vitriol do more to damage to our country than anything Jesse Jackson has ever said and done. Enough already!
Police should pull people over for breaking the law but targeting certain groups because you think they are more likely to commit crimes then other groups is wrong.
Voting is a right to all citizens and the process should be easy enough for the average citizen to do.
More people would be working and off welfare rolls if there were a living wage in this country. Minimum wage is not a living wage and it isn't enough to cover daycare or health insurance costs. Getting work is one thing, being able to live on those wages is a complete other thing. People want to work but when there aren't jobs they do what they have to do to survive.
Two parents working together for the betterment of their children is certainly an admirable standard but when it doesn't work, it doesn't work. Can't change human nature.
Illegal is illegal because someone made a judgment about that thing. Yes there are certain things that are illegal and always should be illegal (murder, assault, stealing, etc.). Many of the other things that are currently illegal may not always be so. Times and societies change. Things that were illegal 50 years ago are no longer illegal today.
A flag is symbol of the country not the country itself. I love our flag and think it is beautiful but it is only a symbol. What the flag stands for is more important than the flag. We shouldn't worship the flag anymore than we should worship the bible.
This all makes me an American. I would rather be a good American than a bad American. In the end, goodness will prevail. I have my country and I love my country and I am not going anywhere. We are the home of the free because of many brave people not just soldiers. Many of our citizens stood up and said something was wrong and our country became better and more free because of it. I love my country and have the same right as you to express my opinion. That is one of the best things about our country. There are many things I am not happy about my country but the good far out weighs the bad.
You say you want your country back, I have to ask: where did your country go? It is still here. It is the same country it has always been. A country of hard work descendants of immigrants. We have problems we need to work together to solve but tearing each other down and tearing each apart is not helpful. Our country is in crisis and it isn't just because of liberals or conservatives. It is all of responsibilities to work together. My country is here and it will always be here. I love my country. I am not going to leave to am going to work with my fellow Americans to make our country better. How about you?

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

A Prayer for Planetary Wellness

May we stop soil contamination & deforestation.
May we bring forth cleaner soil & reforestation.
Power of the Sacred Earth, guide us in this work
to bring healing to Planet Earth.

May we stop air poisoning & ozone layer depletion.
May we bring forth cleaner air & atmosphere restoration.
Power of the Sacred Air, guide us in this work
to bring healing to Planet Earth.

May we stop energy pollution & wastefulness.
May we bring forth cleaner energy & energy conservation.
Power of the Sacred Fire, guide us in this work
to bring healing to Planet Earth.

May we stop water pollution & ocean destruction.
May we bring forth cleaner water & ocean preservation.
Power of the Sacred Water, guide us in this work
to bring healing to Planet Earth.

May we put an end to crime & spiritual toxicity.
May we bring forth peace & spiritual harmony.
Power of Divine Spirit, guide us in this work
to bring healing to Planet Earth.

May we live in harmony with other humans.
May we live in harmony with all of Nature.

May we work together to end Planetary sickness.
May we work together to bring forth Planetary Wellness.

Power of Mother Nature, guide us in this work
to bring healing to Planet Earth.

So Be It.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

In the Beginning

Reposted from Humanist News

In the Beginning....

...there was void, or chaos, or nothing, or everything and nothing, or darkness, or a sky world, or heaven, or heaven and earth together, or heaven and water together, or six heavens and six hells, or a supreme formless Entity, or several Entities, or some combination thereof with various modifications.

In this primordial Initial State, either Allah, Jehovah, Purusha, Brahma, Manitou, Chaos, a Spirit, the "King Above the Sky," the "Holy Supreme Wind," the Dreamtime gods, a supreme formless Entity and the Archetypal Man, the Goddess, a small bearded man or some other divine, or supernatural, or superhuman, or extra-human being (or beings) or elemental essence or concept that I might have overlooked...

...either dreamed, spoke, caused, made, planted seeds, gave birth, brought forth, formed, sacrificed itself, was sacrificed by others, or some other such action or series of events that eventually resulted in the creation of the universe as we know it.

Whew!

Later, in some cases, either Athena, Chimalman, Hera, Hertha, Isis, Juno, Mary, Ostara, Shin-Moo, Sochiquetzal, or some other virgin mother whose name is lost to us (or whom I may have overlooked), may, or may not have, given birth to other gods or god-men like....

...Krishna, Serapis, Mars/Ares, Buddha, Dionysus/Bacchus, Jesus, Adonis, Apollo, Heracles ("Hercules"), Bali, Hesus, Odin, Prometheus, or dozens or more others I missed, many of whom were either crucified or executed in sacrifice for mankind.

From there it gets more complicated. In fact, if I were to continue, it may become entirely incomprehensible.

What I attempted to do is combine stories from many of the various beliefs of the past and present. The point is to show how many there are (and these aren't all of them by a long shot).
They can't all be true, so how do I determine which one to believe in? I've been told my "eternal soul" might be at stake and I don't want to bet on the wrong horse, after all. Should I pick whichever one is the oldest? I don't know which one that might be because many were passed down orally for many years before they were written down. The oldest ones might have been lost by now anyway. Should I pick whichever one has the largest number of adherents? I'm not sure that would be right. There have been times in the past when more people believed something different from what they believe today. Christianity has the largest number of adherents now, but that wasn't always the case. Did the truth change at the moment the believers in Christianity exceeded the believers in whatever religion was more popular before it? At some point in the future, if Islam overtakes Christianity in the number of adherents (considering it's growing faster), would that make a difference in whether or not it's true? Also, since the majority of the world's population doesn't believe in Christianity, would that outweigh the fact that it had the largest number of adherents? And what if people stopped believing in it entirely?

Okay, I just sent my Southern Baptist brother an email. I asked him, hypothetically, if in 5,000 years (more or less) no one believed in Christianity anymore, would that mean it was wrong?

He said no.

Although this in no way constitutes a scientific survey by any stretch of the imagination, I suspect this would be the opinion of most believers. But, obviously, there have been many things in the past most people believed that turned out to be wrong, so I can't decide which religion is correct based on its number of adherents.

(I guess that rules out two of my other questions: can I dismiss all the religions no one believes in anymore simply because no one believes them? And, should I choose a religion by picking whichever one was oldest and still has adherents?)

Should I believe in whichever religion is the most recent? Since new religions keep popping up, I would expect to have to change my beliefs every so often. That doesn't seem to be very smart.

What if I picked based on what my parents' believed? Would that make sense? I guess that's no way to tell which one is true for sure. It appears that believing what your parents' believed has resulted in people coming to many different conclusions. I think Einstein was a pretty smart guy...should I choose based on what he believed? I know there have been other very intelligent people that had other beliefs, so I can't go by that. What if I picked based on what most people around me believed so that I won't be shunned or ridiculed? I don't think that would be very courageous or any more likely to result in me choosing correctly.

Should I pick based on which one I like best? Would that be the best way to decide which one is true? I know from experience that the truth about something is not always the most appealing thing I might want to believe. What if I pick one I really like and it turns out to be wrong? I might spend eternity in hell-fire or something.

Maybe I should believe the one that makes the most terrible threats against not believing in it? If I do that at least I'll know I won't suffer the worst fate among all the options... The problem with that is that there are several of them that seem equally bad. Also, what if a new one comes along that threatens nonbelievers with something worse?

What if I just come up with my own? Evidently some people have done it, why not me? But I suppose coming up with my own wouldn't necessarily make it true (no matter how fun it might be).

What if I put a list of all the gods I know down on paper, close my eyes, and ask for guidance before I put my finger down somewhere on the page without looking?

Hold on...

It looks like the old Korean god JoMulJu wins! Believers have always told me to ask for guidance and put my faith in something and I would get an answer. If that is true, JoMulJu is the One True God!

Hmmm...The problem with that is it seems when other people do it they get other responses. Maybe that isn't the best way to do it either.

Are there any of them that seem to have anything special about them, something to recommend them above the others? Hmmm...

Let's see... Several claim that their prophecies have been fulfilled, so I can't go by that. There are many that claim a Son of God figure, death and resurrection, healings, revelations, miracles and such things, so I can't go by that. We have already ruled out judging by whichever one is the oldest, has most adherents, is oldest that still has adherents, is most recent, is most threatening, is most appealing...

What else?

Can I judge based on the effects various religions have on adherents? Maybe that is the something special I could look for? Buddhism might be the least violent, but then there are the Quakers and Jehovah's Witnesses. Christians might have the most material wealth overall, but that seems like it might be contrary to their own scriptures. Jews seem to have survived as a people for a long time despite facing some really harsh attacks over the years. Islam seems to be more dynamic lately. It seems there are unique things about each one, but how do I pick which unique thing is more important (or relevant)? And is being unique in some way any more likely to make something true?

Can I eliminate some religions based on how silly or absurd they seem? Some of them seem pretty strange: a god vomiting the sun, a god being impregnated by an obsidian knife, a god placing land on the back of a golden frog, a god making a woman out of a bear, a god making a man out of clay, a god making a woman out of a man's rib. You can find everything from winged horses and virgin births to "stopping" the sun and parting the seas. Actually, most of them are filled with hard-to-believe, miraculous or supernatural claims.

I guess if I had to pick one that seemed the least absurd, Buddhism might come out on top (or maybe some of the ones I didn't cover, like Jainism or the Baha'i Faith). But some may make the argument of fideism: credo quia absurdum, or I believe it because it is absurd. So I might not be able to rule out something just because it seems absurd.

Can I judge by their holy books? I've read most all of the holy books of the major religions. They all seem to have internal problems for which their adherents have to do tortured and convoluted back-flips to explain. Another problem is that if I pick any one of them, I will find their adherents interpreting the same holy book differently, which leads to different sects within each of the various beliefs.

That compounds my dilemma. Even if I pick one religion out of so many, I'll then need to pick among the different sects. To use just one example, there might be just enough difference between the Baptists' and the Catholics' requirements for salvation that it would significantly affect my fate. And then there are all the different Baptists, and the different individual interpretations even within the same congregation... But I'll not worry about that right now.

Some people claim to have had personal revelations from their god, but you can find people claiming personal revelations in every religion that has adherents. I've had my own epiphany moments, but I've never had some supernatural being bestowing revelations upon me even when I was open to receiving them. The only person I found I was talking to when I prayed as a kid was myself. Even if I did have some god come down and talk to me, how could I distinguish it from some mental delusion (or some powerful posing demon, leading me astray)?

So how do I pick? If I want to bet that one of these is correct, if I want to bet that there is some absurd or supernatural explanation (rather than a natural one that we don't yet understand), how do I decide?

See, it isn't a 50/50 chance here. It isn't like I can just bet there is a God rather than bet there isn't in order to cover my ass (Pascal's Wager); I've got to decide which supernatural explanation of the various religions is the correct one, and I've got to consider the possibility that there is a correct supernatural explanation that no one has conceived of yet--or that there could be some correct supernatural explanations that might never be conceived.

I know there will be some believers that read this and think they have some convincing reason for their belief that I didn't cover. I've been studying this most of my life and I haven't seen or heard a convincing one yet. There is nothing they can say about which I haven't heard something similar regarding another religion. If there is something they think is unique about their religion, then believers of other religions have some other unique thing they can say about their religion as well.

"True" believers of any of these religions should try to talk to the "true" believers of some of the other religions. If they spend some time listening to the other believer's argument, I'm sure they will find things that will seem absurd to them, things that don't make sense, and things that appear outrageous. That is how they all sound to me. If they can understand why it is they don't buy what a "true" believer of another religion is saying, they will begin to understand why I'm not buying what they are saying.

I'm sitting here in a kind of default position, not actively believing in any of these religions--just like a newborn baby. I've been told I should take a "leap of faith" in one direction or another into belief, but how do I decide which way to leap? It seems to me that leaping in the wrong direction might be worse than not leaping at all.

I don't actively have to do anything not to believe something, I don't have to believe one thing to not to have a belief in something else, and I don't even have to know with absolute metaphysical certainty if something is true (or not true) not to believe it.

What would cause me to take such a leap into belief?

I would have to be provided some compelling reason, and, as Carl Sagan supposedly said, "Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence." Until and unless someone or something provides me with that evidence, I see no reason to move from my default position.

I don't have to prove that all these beliefs (and the gods that go with them) aren't true. If people ask me why I don't believe in God, I have a right to ask them which one they are talking about. Since some people have a different idea about what they mean by "God" (eg: Nature, a "force" as opposed to a being, "All That Is," etc.), I think I have a right to ask them to define what they mean so I will know what they are asking me. If they don't want to define what they mean, then how can I know what they are talking about? I don't possess any mind-reading abilities.

If they can describe what they mean, then I might be able to answer them. If they can't, then the best answer I can give is that I've not seen any compelling reason or evidence that would motivate me to take that "leap of faith" into belief in any one of these many supernatural options.

On the most basic level, theism is "a belief in a god or gods;" a-theism is "without a belief in a god or gods."

I guess that makes me an atheist.

Joseph McDaniel Stewart is the vice president of FreeThoughtAction and manages the website for UnitedCor. He also serves on the American Humanist Association's media committee.

Monday, May 17, 2010

More Republican Beliefs

Children are smart if they pass multiple-choice tests.

God hates the people I hate.

To negotiate is to be weak.

Never admit any doubts.

What is our oil doing under their soil?

The truth has nothing to do with evidence.

Sex for pleasure is bad, except for me.

Constantly talk about Jesus.

Obsess about embryos, but ignore the needs of real children.

Suck up to banks, telecoms, and other big campaign contributors.

Environmentalists are sissies, even when they are correct.

Blame gays and immigrants, whenever possible.

Disparage all inconvenient science.

Act as though it is important to say the Pledge of Allegiance.

Kill or torture all people who might possibly be bad.

Bad people are constantly trying to destroy America because we are free.

Anyone different from me is bad.

Friday, May 14, 2010



One of the funniest tea party signs I have seen. It gets even funnier if you go to this website.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=teabagger

Enjoy the fun.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Water of Life

Somebody said to me recently, "Clearly you don't understand what a person's faith actually means to him or her. For me," she said, "It's like the water of life."

And I thought, what a great phrase, the water of life, without which, of course, there can be no life. But even the water of life needs to be contained and properly managed or it can run out of control, get into places where it doesn't belong and cause real damage. For example, if the water of life gets together with the water of other people's lives and they form a deluge, a rushing torrent of righteous certainty that sweeps all before it--including reason--well, then it's not so much the water of life anymore, is it? It's rapidly turning into the water of death, as everything in its path is crushed. Original thought, rational inquiry, free speech and their tattered remnants are strewn across the rocks of scripture and blind dogma. What's needed here, obviously, is a dam to contain this water of death, to convert it back into the water of life and give us all a chance to switch on a light bulb in our minds. And that's where secularism comes in. It's everybody's friend, believer and non-believer alike, which I think makes it the real water of life.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The Death of the Egyptian First-born

One thing that bothers me about people who take the bible literally is the story of the first passover. I am bothered that no one seems to care about the number of Egyptian males that must have died to prove that Yahweh is all powerful. According to Wikipedia, "Egypt at the time might have supported a total population of around 3-4 million, maybe even up to 6 million." Simple chance (50 out every 100 births is a male) tells us that at least half of the population should have been male, some 1.5 - 2 million upwards to 3 million males. Chance tells us that at least half of these males should be first born son. So, according to Exodus, some 750,000 to 1.5 million first born males were killed by the angel of death at the first passover. Of course the number may not be that high as not every male would be of child producing age or have had enough children to have had at least one son. What we can agree on is that a very large number, in the hundreds of thousands, of male children were supposedly killed. I have never seen any historical evidence of that many males dying at one time. Where is the evidence? One would think that somewhere in Egyptian history someone would have recorded this kind of disaster. Has a mass grave with this many mummies or bodies ever been found? Is there evidence of the economic disaster that would have befallen Egypt with this many deaths? If the bible is to be taken literally, where is the evidence? This is another example of why the bible cannot be taken literally, because logic and reason tells us that if that many males were killed, there must be mass graves, or someone must have written another independent account of what happened. Show me evidence of a mass grave or mass mummies, or historical records apart from the bible, and I will be less skeptical.

A Response to "Dear Lord, This year my favorite.."

A response to the following web post:

Dear Lord,
This year my favorite actor, Patrick Swayze died. My favorite actress Farrah Fawcett died. My favorite singer Michael Jackson died. I just wanted to let you know that my favorite president is Barack Obama. Amen

A few observations:

Can you image what the blow back would have been, had I posted something like this during the Bush administration?

I thought working for the death of the President was a felony.

When I was against the Bush administration’s policies, I was accused of being un-American, unpatriotic, anti-American, treasonous, and giving aid and comfort to the enemy.

I could have had my phone illegally wiretapped. I could have been arrested, had my Writ of Habeas Corpus suspended, been drug off to a military brig, declared an enemy combatant, denied my rights to legal representation, denied the right to view the evidence against me, and denied the right to confront my accuser. I could have even been tortured.

I find it incredibly funny that during the Bush administration this type of speech was considered treasonous, but now it is a case of free speech and free expression.

Apparently when a Democrat is President, our citizens have no fear of being arrested or investigated for this type of speech, but during a Republican administration this type of speech is treasonous. When people fear a Republican Administration it is tyranny. When the people fear the Obama administration it is laughable.

Our citizens have no fear of the current administration and people are free to say the most awful and disgusting things about the President.

I am so glad our society and nation have evolved to the point where we are free to say what we feel about the President. I hope this continues in the future, if we have another Republican president.

A list of my “favorites”:
Favorite Supreme Court Justices: Antonin Scalia, Clarence Thomas, John Roberts, and Samuel Alito
Favorite ex-President: George W. Bush
Favorite ex-Vice President: Dick Cheney
Favorite ex-Governor of Alaska: Sarah Palin
Favorite radio entertainer: Rush Limbaugh
Favorite TV entertainer: Glenn Beck
Favorite televangelist: Pat Robertson
Favorite US Senators: Mitch McConnell and Jim Bunning
Favorite US Representative: Michelle Bachmann
Favorite “news” organization: Fox News
Favorite political advisor: Karl rove
Favorite lobbying group: the NRA
Favorite political party: the Republicans
Favorite political movement: the Tea Party

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Things Republicans Believe

Things Republicans Believe (received anonymously on the net)

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money but crack down on individuals who use marijuana to relieve the pain of illness.

"Standing Tall for America" means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of the public at heart.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy.
Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have a right to adopt.

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

Monday, May 03, 2010

How to be a Tea Party Activist

Oolong University
Department of Intelligent Design
Political Science 101: How to Be a Tea Bag Terrorist (i.e. Tea Party Activist)

Class 1:Teabonics – How to create a protest sign using poor spelling and grammar.
This class will explore the different and varied ways to spell and use grammar when creating a protest sign.

Class 2: How to Make a Protest Sign
This class will explore the different elements and techniques used to create a Tea Party protest sign.
1. Use a picture of the President as: Hitler, Stalin, Marx, Osama bin Laden, or a monkey
2. Call the President a socialist and a fascist/Nazi
3. Use poor spelling and poor grammar
4. Ask to see the President’s birth certificate
5. Say something about Kenya, implying the President isn’t a US citizen
6. Call the President Obama bin Laden and make him out to be a Muslim
7. Say something about False (Fox) News
8. Call the President the anti-Christ and quote scripture to prove it
Extra credit will be given if your sign makes it on Fox News.
Double extra credit will be given if your sign makes it onto a liberal media newscast.
Automatic pass for the class if your sign gets mentioned by Keith Olbermann or John Stewart.

Class 3: Dressing like Betsy Ross or Ben Franklin
This class will explore the different styles of costume Tea Party activists wear at their rallies. At the end of the class, the student will be able to create their own costume to wear at the next Tea Party Rally.(Bring your own cloth and sewing machine)

Class 4: Making a hat out of tea bags
In this class students will learn how to make a hat decorated with tea bags they can wear to the next Tea Party rally held near them.(Please bring your favorite tea)

Class 5: Creating a catchy slogan
Nothing catches and keeps the media’s attention like a good slogan. In this class, students will learn the ins and outs, and tricks for creating a catchy slogan. A good slogan is one that can be repeated over and over, and never get old. A good slogan can sum up a person’s feelings on any subject.
1. Keep your government hands off my medicare.
2. I get my news from Fox News
3. Somewhere in Kenya, a village is missing their idiot
4. God Bless Glen Beck
5. God Bless Rush Limbaugh
6. Pray for the President.
7. How’s that Hopey-changey thing working for you?
8. The President wants to create re-education camps
9. The brownest thing at this rally is my sign.
10. Drill Baby Drill
11. Put in a fence, start shooting.
12. Deport the children of illegal immigrants
13. Liberals hate America, they hate flag-wavers, they hate abortion opponents, they hate all religions except Islam

Class 6: Freely quote Palin, Bachmann, Limbaugh, Beck, Robertson, O’Reilly or Coulter
When a person goes to a Tea Party rally they have to be able to quote a variety of sources. This class will teach a Tea Party Activist who they should quote and what they should quote.
1. Progressives are the cancer in America
2. The government will set up death panels to pull the plug on granny.
3. The President wants to set up re-education camps for our youth
4. Carbon dioxide is a harmless gas
5. I hope the President fails.
6. America is being punished for gays, feminists, liberals, etc.
7. Obama wants to end the white, Christian male dominance in this country.

Class 7: Ranting on about the President being a socialist and a fascist, or a commie, or a Muslim, or a dictator, or a tyrant, or the anti-Christ, or anti-America
A Tea Party Rally just isn’t a good Tea Party rally if you can’t clearly articulate who you believe the President to be. This class will give the student ample opportunity to practice calling the President all sorts of names. As an added bonus this class will also teach the student how to lie with a straight face.

Class 8: Making references to guns, targets, and the 2nd Amendment
In this class the student will learn the fine art of inciting violence. They will learn from the best: Sara Palin. From Palin the student will learn how to create a website that shows crosshairs on Democrats. This class will also teach the student how to deny they want to kill Democrats. This class will also teach students the finer points of throwing rocks through Representatives and Senator’s windows, how to use racial and sexual slurs, how to sabotage barbeque grills, and how to run cars with Obama stickers off the road. Guest lecturer will be Rep. Steve King R-IA, who will discuss beating up liberals.

Class 9: How to ignore questions about the Bush Administration
This class will teach the student how to ignore the excesses of the Bush Administration while decrying the excesses of the Obama Administration. This class will also teach the meaning of irony so the prospective Tea Party activist can say what they want without trying to be ironic. (This may have to more than 1 class period.)
1. Budget surplus becomes record deficit
2. Going to war in Iraq on false pretenses
3. Tax cuts for the richest 5% of the population
4. Government expansion of Medicare and the creation of the Department of Homeland Security
5. The USA Patriot Act
6. Illegal wiretaps on US citizens
7. Rendition and torture
8. Dick Cheney’s secret meetings to form energy policy with the CEOs of the oil companies
9. Prisoner abuse in Iraq
10. Bush fiddling while New Orleans drowned
11. Ignoring security briefing detailing foreign nationals learning to fly plans
12. Forced take over of our schools under No Child Left Behind
13. Suspension of the Writ of Habeas Corpus
14. Guantanamo Bay
15. Deplorable conditions at the Walter Reed Army Hospital
16. Gutting environmental rules to allow more pollutants into the air and water
17. Taking the eye of the ball in Afghanistan
18. Where is Osama bin Laden?
19. Bank, Wall Street, and car company bailouts started by Bush

Class 10: How to look foolish when interviewed on television
View selected videos of:
1. Glen Beck
2. Michelle Bachmann
3. Ann Coulter
4. Rush Limbaugh
5. Any number of Tea Party rallies

Class 11: How to sound foolish online
Selected readings from:
1. Facebook
2. Other websites

Class 12: Pretending to know what the Bible and the Constitution say

Class 13: How to say racist things and then claim not to be racist

Class 14: How to scream loud enough to drown out the rational person speaking

Class 15: How to scream about high taxes while ignoring the tax credit all Americans making less than $250,000 were given.

Class 16: How to be a hypocrite without sounding like a hypocrite.

Class 17: How to continue saying outrageous things to keep the media’s attention

Coming this fall, just in time for the mid-term election, two new classes for prospective right-wing legislative candidates.

1. How to Pander to the Christian Right.
Taught by none other than George W. Bush. Former Pres. Bush is an expert in this field and should be able to provide many enlightening and useful ideas for the up and coming GOP candidate.

2. How to Pander to the Tea Party.
This useful class will be taught by Rep. Michelle Bachmann, R-MN. Topics to be covered include: how to say outrageous things and how to look foolish on television. Should be a great class.